tired

Immm...tired of this life. same old same old. it really gets old and hardly anyone is reeding my blog!!!

lerning to ride a bike

So I never lerned to ride a bike. not exacly sure why. I want a green one with cool streemers and blazing fast weels.I really do hope I can buy one soon. I remember my best frend from childhood, autumn,having the coolest bike in  the whole apartment complex. It was pink. I also broke my leg on her scooter. I rode a scooter around the gym in school yesterday. ah, memories. I hope I can lern to do things without herting myself. Oh yeaaahh my argument with miss jerri last night. she got mad at me for not cleaning my room. then she started bagging up my stuff to make my bed but she didnt tell me why. I freaked out!!! I guess life is like riding a bike. You gotta find the right balence with pepole. hmph.

happy halloween

Im starting to really like haloween. Im going to be a fairy princess with a hommade shirt and skirt,a tiara,a magic wand, fairy wings,and star earing to match the tiara. school today is really fun. We are having a party. Im going to sit outside the hanted house. Also we get lotsss of candy. I cant wait. I took a math test and missed 2 problems but miss malicote let me correct them. She wants to bring me a new doll but shes not sure if she can. A boy here is getting ready to spray my hair green.   He just sprayed the back. Its really green and pretty. I dont want the front done becaus it might get in my eyes. I really do hope more pepole read my blog. I want to get more traffic!!!! Last night we went to a predetors game. I got to be with krysti. It was loud tho. too loud for me.

Just saying...

who knows when my next IEP will be. let me tell you-I do NOT enjoy them. The weeks leading up to them are so stressful. All I can think is-what will they say or deside? I feel powerless sometimes. Last time miss julia came, so did my 1:1 at the time, miss howse. The directer and prinsipal were arguing the entire time over where to send me and Im like-pepole-Im 18-I want to go to Cora How! I ended up going there. This scool is awsome. The pepole here really do care about the students. I liked weems but weems was alot stricter. Here you can wear whatever clothes you want as long as its apropriate. You can also wear a haloween costume on Friday-I cant wait! (Im being a fairy princess). As much as I like this school, Im determiened to move back to clarksville. I miss it too much. For someone living with PTSD,the whole world often revolves around the trauma you went thru. Im fighting a lose-lose battle everday. Im Always worried about my next nightmear or flashback. At times I just feel sick-too sick to get out of bed or get dressed. I go weeks without washing my hair becaus Im just so worried about everything else. But thats no excuse. Lots of pepole claim to have PTSD but its actually pretty rare.The medicines I have to take just make everything harder-they make me shake and tighten my musles. I get so sick of feeling bad! Im looking forward to my cooking group tho--I cant wait! Im cooking Mexican food with miss jenna. Im typing away now-because Im waiting for lunch-boy am I hungry! The only bad thing about math is Im in 2 classes that do the exact same thing so Im left with nothing to do all period. Im just sitting here typing,,,not sure what else to do. 15 minutes left. I love miss mallicotte.shes the most beutiful teacher Ive ever seen. Later we will go to the playground. I cant wait to swing. I wonder whats for lunch today...now Im just rambling hehe. I really do hope more pepole read my posts. I want to get as many followers as possible. Im getting to the point where I can type fast without looking at the keypad. Thats bad! I spend waaaayyyy too much time on the computer!!!I should be focusing on other things. Anyway, post later!

yummy!

yummmmmm who wuldnt want a bite of that?

iceee cream!!
pizza time!


yum yum             
sweet trip to the candy shop!

life

So this is life, huh? Im sick and tired of being judged for being me. I had an OK fall break ecept i got judged for bringing home a baby doll. Anyway shes adorable. her name is Britani Skye because of miss Britani, an old intern that used to be at pc. Speaking of her, she showed up yesterday. It was a dream come true. shes pregnent and expecting her child in december. I squeezed her so hard I was worried I hurt the baby, but everything was OK. Im at school right now,Im doing really well in math. Im ahed of the rest of the class. Im having a little bit of flashbacks but it gets easier everyday. The other day in the mall I smelled something I didnt want to but I didnt let anyone see that it bothered me. We went to incredibel daves on friday. I got to see my aunt Melinda for the first time in a year. She gave me $20 and we won a green lava lamp. The day befor that I stayed with me 10 year old cousin, Evan.(2nd cousin). He has seizures but seems to be doing well. One of the girls here moved out into the other house so theres 3 of us now. Its alot easier when theres less pepole. Miss debra wants me to grow up too fast. Miss missy seems to care but doesnt really understand. I wish someone would get me!

photos/school.

well today I went to school. I really do love school. I got my senior pics taken (will post after I get them).I got to see my friend and he gave me a sweater because he was cold. Something's been on my mind lately-I'v just been thinking--maybe I have a purpose in this world afterall. Maybe I was ment to help pepole. hmmm. sometimes I wonder why pepole get mad so easy and ignore you like your not there. you want all this attention but--its never good enogh. so far I have 1 follower :) hopefully my followers in the future will look bacjk on this posts.
                      doesn't this look like fun? I LOVE playgrounds. AND its my favorite color-(as you can tell by looking at my blog)green. today miss comisha is here. she's awesome. I told her a secret and she won't tell a soul. It's nice to have someone you can trust.

On another note, here's some recent and older photos of me:

back when I was 15,,my cousin Evan at 7.


glamore girl-age 13.

16 years old and gorgus!

just afew weeks ago with my doll-anabelle.
17 years old.-striking an ILOVELUCY style!
posing at 18 years old.

2nd grade cutie.

on our back porch.
14 years old (see the messy hair).
me, mom, grandma-1995.